Your name came up

I find it hard to ask help from people. I find it insanely hard to ask help from the people I love. The moment I feel that I am being an imposition, I try to make myself scarce.
If you’re reading this, know that you came to mind when the question of “Who are the people you can depend on to be there?” came up today.
When the shit hits the fan, who are the handful of people I’d call at three in the morning to get me out of a bad situation, give me a roof over my head, drive me to the hospital, or simply listen to me rant about life’s general suckiness?
The names that came to mind surprised even me.
Hell, you’re probably reading this and going “WTF?? I’ve only known her a year!” or “I haven’t seen her for like, a decade” or even “But we’ve only had about four serious conversations together, and there was drinking involved!”.
Out of the fifteen I named, only three are related to me by blood. I don’t know if that sounds sad to you. For the traditional Filipino, it probably does. Somehow though, friends seem easier to have in my life, less aggravating, lesser strings attached. But I digress.
We all have countless friends we’ve made through the years, many of whom we still adore even if we don’t see them often. Maybe their priorities changed and they moved out of your immediate circle; maybe they got married or had to walk down a different path; maybe you just grew apart because of social calendars or geography. No matter, you know that these are good folk and that you would do almost anything for them. Yet their names didn’t make your top ten. And you wonder, why is that?

Sometimes it is easier to think of someone currently on the same frequency as you. People who you know will be there when you get the courage to admit that you need help. Those intelligent and compassionate enough to give what you need at the time, whether it is a sympathetic ear or a kick in the butt to tell you to pull yourself together.
People who have no agenda but seem to like being in your life. People who ask nothing in return but the pleasure of your company.
If you’re reading this, it means you’ve seen me act like a decent human being and you’ve seen me at my worst. Or, if we’ve only just walked into each others lives, you seem to be the kind of person I’ve decided I could trust to not walk away when I’m intolerable, but stick around to make sure I make it home safe when everyone else had lost interest.
If you’re reading this, I want you to know that your name came to mind and I’m glad it did.
I want you to know that I’d show up at three in the morning with a shovel in hand if you asked me to (no, don’t call me now). I’d cry at your wedding and I’d dote on your kids. I’d dread having to live longer than you. Being the person that I am though, I’d also get my wits back right about now and deny ever having written this sentimental crap.
Cheers to the New Year.
Dec 30, 2009 2:46am