Flatline gracefully

What not to do if you ever find yourself playing an older woman about to die in hospital with a mafia son by her side:

Do not laugh, smile or smirk during takes - for obvious reasons.
Avoid opening eyes directly into lights - not very pleasant.
Try to look as dead as possible - nevermind that your back is hurting like hell and the crew jokes are hilarious.
Ignore hand that is currently holding yours - he's supposed to be your son for heaven's sake!
During final death scene, try holding breath more than a pathetic ten seconds. Or avoid smoking the night before.
While cameras are rolling, try not to let mind wander - unless you want to hear the cameraman call you out on some random facial expression!

If all else fails, fall asleep.

Running with Alcohol

Note to self: The next time you're running back to Casa make sure that
a) You're not holding a beer in one hand and
b) Its not raining.
Also, it doesn't help to be thinking about current source of butterflies in tummy, as possibility of stumbling over inert object on ground increases tenfold.

Thankfully, stumbling is all I'm doing. No serious falls yet.

I know, I know, none of this makes sense. I haven't written anything in a while. The past four weeks have been quite a blur. Seriously. This place just makes time fly and stand still at the same time. Still not making sense. I know. Just trust me when I say that six weeks at IAFT equates to roughly six months at Info. Things here happen so fast that if you blink - you just may miss something.
Concrete example? Yesterday I had to finish and present my MOS project rough cut to mentors. I then had to run over to help out with a friend's shoot. We wrapped at 5am and I had to be up by 8am to make it to the Learn Cebu trip.
Does this partially explain my surreal "blur"of a month?
And that's just the tip of the iceberg baby.... :)

art school confidential

Film school rocks!

'nuff said.

The death of a muse

My muse is gone.
I walked through an empty lot, mobile phone held to my ear with my left hand and a plate of sausage with my right. I ended up by the ostriches - yes, we have ostriches here. All this just to avoid someone. Sound pathetic? Not as pathetic as was coming out of my mouth at the time.
I had, in an idiotic state of sudden self-pity, called up LadyRain and had basically wailed about my most recent descent into infatuation and the bump to earth that inevitably followed.
You know what, I really should go another direction with this.
I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for not letting this get to me. I'm shutting down the laptop and I'm walking down to the bar for a well deserved beer.
Cheers.
Here's to drowning out the stupidity still ringing in my ears.

Sheep part deux

Baaaaa....

I see you're all still being herded. Or allowing yourselves to be.

Don't bother waiting up for me. I've got another path to take. You just go on ahead with the rest of them. Maybe we'll meet again someday. Or maybe not.

Fucking slaughterhouse is around the next picket fence and you know it. You just don't want to see it.

Excerpt from Sheep

Why we as a generation and as individuals have come to this state of not knowing what to do with ourselves isn’t hard to figure out.

It is because we want something more than the stereotypical nine to five existence out of our lives. Ironically, we are constantly being told to take the safe conventional route to happiness - and because of this we are confused, paralyzed and scared shitless.

We want to climb Mt Everest, save the rainforest, join the Peace Corps, take weekly road trips. We dream of being free to do what we really want to do while the conformists whisper that the only way to make it is to hold down higher management positions in companies that pay well and cater to the demands of family, friends, colleagues and various charitable organizations.

Tall order.

Twenty-something, we’re often told, is an age we’re supposed to do what society expects us to do – find jobs, make money, get married, settle down, get it all together. But getting it all together is the last thing we’re doing.

Sure, maybe some of you out there have achieved all there is to achieve. Some of you may believe you’ve already got it all together and that you’re living the perfect suburban life. Some of you have allowed yourselves to be swept along the tide of popular Styrofoam culture. If you fall into this category, know that this was not written for your reading pleasure, so bugger off.

For the rest of us who are still woefully lost, well, there is an up side to our semi nomadic state. We are, by default, the only remaining rebels of our age. Everyone else has settled down, or worse, just settled. Tell me you refuse to yield to the same fate. I for one, hope I do not fall into the numbing cycle of home-work-fast-food meals-work-mall-home. Someone poke me in the eye with this article if you find I’ve turned into the living dead four years from now.

We have chosen what the generations before us could not or would not choose. At least not most of them. We have chosen to forgo the safety of white picket fences and floral bedspreads. We do not comprehend the need for traditional timelines and eschew the old notion of one having to be settled down by thirty to be “complete and happy”. We choose to bask in the happiness that now has to offer and do not prescribe to the long-suffering tradition that youth be spent slaving away in pursuit of a happiness that may never come.

If we as a generation are going to crash and burn, we will do so knowing that for a little while we did justice to the notion of not being slaves to society’s misguided dictates. Yes it sometimes sucks being alone, following a path others may refuse to take with you, but in the end, don’t you feel all the crap was worth it when you realize you have actually lived and were not merely being herded into the slaughterhouse with the rest of them?

Proud NoyPi

Filipinos.
We are so unique.
Yes, we may seem fragmented and lost; yes, we sometimes act too westernized for our own good. Though we are the world's modern day gypsies, I believe we have the capacity to endure, as we have done through the centuries.
We are resilient, humble, hardworking, kind.
We are a beautiful people.
We are a proud people.
Why we don't show our national pride more often is beyond me.

Of Rainmen and Muses

Am back after a night of barbeque, rum coke and tequila shots. Can't say I can remember everyone's name but they probably don't remember mine either...what with the number of newbies everyone had to meet tonight.
It was a really good day as far as good days go.
Watched Cinema Paradiso, reached out to some kid, had really good barbeque with my alcohol - and bantered with the Muse.
Not bad at all.

Also, was able to talk to rainman today after class and was pleasantly surprised to learn that he wasn't as autistic as I thought he was. I was caught by surprise when he apologized for his demeanor on our first day. This means that one, he is aware of his lack of social skills; two, he is aware of how he is perceived and three, he must definitely take note when people treat him like nothing.
I'm glad I didn't go down that route and managed to do the decent thing and reach out to this kid.

I can't say every day here has been perfect, (hell some days made me feel so inadequate and out of place you wouldn't believe it) but I can say that every day spent here has made me feel alive.
And that's all I can ask for.