Fluff publications die naturally

The problem with being editor for a fluff publication of a company paper was control of content. Writers not submitting articles by deadline was another - but that was at least something every editor had to deal with. When one is caught between what management wants published and what everyone else wants to see in the damn paper, journalistic freedom goes to shit.

You've got the creative ideas from the writers and the contributors which you naturally nod to. And then you've got the veto powers from up high - which you must nod to. Nodding both ways hurts the neck. I could have been dictatorial about it, but that would have taken the fun out of the whole thing. That was half the reason we were slaving away extra unpaid hours of work anyway. Plus, I'm crap at dictatorship. I'm more for the collaboration, and seeing the kick everyone gets when our babies come out of press.

I worry about the future of that publication, mainly because I know so much could have been done with it and so many people look forward to it. The light-hearted who wish to be entertained go straight to the back and check to see if their pictures (or those of the objects of their affections) are on the "social party page". The rest get fed with front page company charts and updates and the usual recognition articles on pages three to four. The intellectuals in need of a good read head for the really great column on page five. Is it scary I still know the pagination layout by heart?

The prime-evil thought in my head is I'm glad it died with me and the guys I worked with.

I'd hate to see some remaining nefarious individuals take up the banner of publication. They would on the pretense of having the interests of the masses as their prime concern when in reality, the paper is just another pet project coated with emails and meetings they can use to pad their resumes when aiming for the next step up the ladder...To whoever comes next as editor, I wish you more success with it than I had. To the asswipe popularity contestants...you can take my last issue and shove it up yer drunk asses.

You get bitch slapped for a reason

This is what the my horoscope said to me today
(Yes, its only the horoscope but it got me thinking)

When you've had a slap in the face you do need time to recover, But while you're healing consider how you earned that slap.

So I'm doing that. I'm going to think long and hard and dig deep. I'm going to scrape off all the possible bullshit justifications and prejudices I may have and really try and figure out what the message was. I'm going to try and be that better person this year for my sake. And for the people I love and who love me. I don't give a rats ass about the hypocrite wolves in sheeps clothing (hint - I sadly share the same family tree with the cretins). Their slaps don't make sense anyway whichever way you look at it. They are Cherie Pie Picache without depth or content. Absolutely unnecessary to the plot. They don't count.

But I'm also telling you to consider why you may have gotten your own slaps. People don't just randomly come up to you and plant a nasty stinger on your face (unless they were mentally imbalanced - which is a totally different scenario). Think about it. It may have been an act of sheer frustration, utter dejection or immense hurt. Don't want to? Tough. I'm telling you to. Because you may be part of my world soon...and I really wouldn't want us slapping each other for things we could have learned to temper a long time ago.

Wake me up when September ends

This is something I found I had written on September 16th of last year:

A slightly hungover Sunday morning finds me at Starbucks (Rockwell) nursing a macchiato as I wait for my mother to finish changing in the unisex bathroom. It is uncommonly early for me and after driving her to the airport I expect only an hours rest and change before joining a shopping party and then hopefully after, go watch some football being played. The business of today is most welcome. It matters not that I haven't slept and that I have work early. It preoccupies me and fills the hours which I would otherwise have spent desperately trying to sleep away. To forget mostly that life is passing me by. Or that I am allowing it to.

Why am I posting it now? I suppose, to remind myself not to slide back to that point in time where I was literally SLEEPING my life away. How pathetic is that? To have one's goal as to keep oneself preoccupied else crawl into bed and wait for the day to mercifully end.
The point? The point is I'm pitching my plan to the elders...and I'm hoping it is received well. And I'm hoping it is the next big adventure.

Yes but Oh no!

am unnaturally giddy. must get over adoloscent-like musings that have managed to seep into my consciousness and have occupied most of today's thoughts... I know why I'm smiling like a prize idiot and I don't trust it.
I know this fickleness can't last. I shall predictably be thrown back down to earth in a matter of hours. I give this a couple of days max.

Twenty-nine and counting

The agenda was to get up early and be extremely productive today. The plan included a morning swim, a quick stop at the mall to buy goodies and have a general look around then back home to check and answer email greetings. Was supposed to end the day with a nice family dinner (with lots of dessert) and the smug thought that I hadn't wasted my first day of being a year older.
The reality was me sleeping half the day away. I can't be smug about that now can I?
I did manage to check mail and to have the dinner and dessert...but I'm afraid all thats done is add another few thousand calories to the heap I've already got lined up to burn off.
Now that I think about it, there wasn't much of a chance of getting out and about anyway as the universe has seemed to conspire on my staying at home today. I hear traffic was practically at a standstill all over Dubai this evening due to some guy visiting. Not many people here like this guy and this traffic situation doesn't help his rep at all.
The "guy" is US President Bush. With him in town, the major roads have been closed and / or re-routed. It doesn't help things that it rained the whole day. Not for the traffic or my plans to go out.
The up-side to that is it has officially been declared a holiday tomorrow and I'll have time to pester Dad and Nik to go out.
I shall just have to celebrate again tomorrow when the skies clear. No law against that is there?

Pre-birthday shebangs that require beer

Am back fter a night of pre-birthday bar hopping with my dad, my brother and my cousin. There was dinner at the Irish village afterwhich it was off to the Odd Spot - where my brother wasn't allowed in due to his age. (Although I felt sorry for him, I wondered how many bars back home would go bankrupt if they implemented the same rule there. Kids under twenty-one routinely go drinking on a Friday night unchaperoned and usually make up the bulk of the crowd in my college town.) Later headed to Rocky's (apparently another very Filipino bar) at a hotel further out.

A karaoke contest was just ending as we walked in and the first set was about to start. The place was packed (who says Filipinos overseas have it hard?) and the opening number was a song from the eighties sung by a (possibly Bi) male lead vocal and his four backup bunnies dressed as Japanes anime schoolgirls.
They promptly followed that with a spicegirl- I-will-survive medley. I think. They were, um, very flexible and short of a full on floor show, they managed to keep the male populace in the bar highly entertained. The second set had even more back up (and front) dancers, this time in bikini tops and short shorts prancing to Beyonce and Pussycat doll tracks. The songs were more rock infused rather than sentimental pop numbers from twenty years ago. I kept my eyes on the band lest an anime character would lead me to say something I'd regret later. The drummer reminded me of Jonathan Buencamino.
There was a pool table near the toilets (which were nice and clean) and I was startled to hear my name called out on my second trip to the loo. An old officemate had recognized me. After a short interview cum catch up session we exchanged numbers and promised to lunch or meet for a quick dinner before I left. It really is a small world after all.
In total, I had a double shot of Baileys, three and a half beers (controlled) and enjoyed watching snippets of the basketball game on the big screen. Coca cola lost to Red Bull.
I'd like to thank my Dad for taking us all out and paying for dinner and drinks and the Anime squad for keeping them all entertained.

Life is like a box of chocolates...

Watched Forrest Gump tonight and had to get the kleenex out...there's one film thats always going to get to me.
If stupid is as stupid does, then I was really stupid over someone for a stupidly long time.
Now feel like I should go for a run and put it all behind me.

Conversation anyone?

I'll say it. I miss Philippine society - the genteel, the intellectual, the poetic and artistic. I do not include other adjectives right now because those particular things are what I miss. I miss sitting down at any local cafe in the afternoon and overhear office workers, students and entrepreneurs go about their business. I miss reading the opinions of our intelligent and witty columnists in the broadsheets (I could use the internet, but being home and buying the paper and settling down to devour it with some merienda is so different).

I do not wish to sound elitist when I say I do not miss the afternoon shows (TFC anyone) or the mass appeal of our two main television channels. There's enough of that here. And the melodrama sometimes doesn't really help the national consciousness (again, my own humble opinion).

When I say I miss the intellectuals and what gentle society has to offer - I only mean that I miss being a citizen in my own country where I am an INDIVIDUAL. Where I am not only a nationality (one that I am proud of being part of mind you - but thats a different point) or a skin colour but where its something that I do not need to think about everytime I walk down the street or open my mouth to speak my thoughts.

It would be really cool to find some intellectuals to talk to right now - without having to fret that we're of different nationalities and where walking on eggshells is not required.

I love that most of the Pinoys I've met so far are nice and smile when they realize that you are "kabayan" and even go out of their way to give you extra service if you need something in one of the stores they work in. That is just beautiful for me.

But I miss my banter mates. I'm not sure I could pull the attendee at the shoe store at the next building into a long winding conversation about the futility of going off to pursue a writing career when faced with the offer of a stable well paying job that demands me assisting executives of a corporate giant.

Or could I?