An excerpt

And it’s not like I enjoy any of this. I don’t want my stomach in knots whenever I check my mail or open facebook. I’d rather not notice your name in movie credits, articles, ads, products or lists. I’d rather not think of you, rather not remember you or any of the silly stuff we did. I’d rather not fall to pieces when I feel you have moved on – but I do.
I didn’t choose for you to leave an indelible print in my mental landscape.
I don’t want to think that I may not have even registered in yours.

But according to societal norms, I cannot show that I’m still hung up on you. I have to look like you were nothing but a brief blimp on my radar and that I have moved on.
So I will learn to quietly deal. I will remember the good times without marring them with exaggerations of the bad in my need to quickly forget you.
I will go back to living my life, waking each morning to check off tasks from a list of meaningless errands. Meetings, meals and socializing will fill my days and I will settle back into a routine without you. I will frequent places with loud music and noise that will drown out any thoughts of you. I will drown myself in work, and occasionally, in vodka.
My friends will be pleasantly surprised at how fast I bounced back from the chapter that was you. They will schedule dinners and catch-up dates, we will discuss me, we will discuss them. We will avoid talking about you. They will ask if I am okay, I will answer yes and then at the end of the evening as I walk home, I will suddenly remember something we did together and my eyes will well up with tears for no reason whatsoever.
But, because I am a strong independent woman, because I’m expected to be hardcore, because a man I hardly know should not turn me into a blubbering seventeen year old, I will push back the tears, force a smile, and keep walking. I will pretend everything is fine and make myself believe that we never were. Because this is what an "intelligent" woman would do. Because this is the sensible option. Because this is what moving on is all about.