Bed weather

Being stuck in bed all day is no fun. It’s restful but it gives one way too much time to zone out and remember things. And miss things.

I miss cold afternoons and nights. I miss goodnight kisses, jackets and hats. I miss aimless walks at dusk. I miss the smell of sun dried linen and the quiet that happens at 3pm in our old house. I miss mundane pointless conversations over coffee that have nothing to do with thesis schedules and bloated egos.

Crap, I suddenly remember being five and going on my first holiday with the ‘rents. I sure miss that.

I miss carnations, jam sessions and phone calls that don’t involve drunk dialing.

I miss being kissed without game or agenda. I miss cooking lunch coz I know I have friends coming over.

I miss the normality of it all outside this insane funny farm of directors, models and actor wannabees.

Of favors and disappointment

You can't really blame me for being generally disappointed in people right now.
Call me sensitive, but I think I'm allowed to feel a bit miffed after such a pathetic response to my calls for crew help on my shoot.
I mean, I skip class, lose sleep, swallow my pride, do grunt work, use some of my own money and more just to help them out on their shoots; and when it's finally my turn what do I get? Responses like "pwede ata ako sa araw na yun". I mean, is it too much to ask for just a straightforward yes or no???
I don't ask for much...just a tight crew who are happy and willing to work with me.
Crap. Breathe. Blah, blah, blah...
I refuse to stress over this.
But I can't help feel bad over it. At least for the next hour or two.

Of baked goods and trippy rooms

Random happy thoughts while one is a baked product:

1. I'm glad I didn't have that extra brownie they offered me.
2. This music is soooo trippy...I have no idea who it is and I can hardly hear a thing...but the beat sure matches my brainwaves.
3. I'm glad I don't have to move right now.
4. Even talking on the phone is such an effort. Must apologize tomorrow for hogging conversation and constantly breaking into unwarranted laughter.
5. I can hear myself breathe. Life is precious. I shouldn't waste anymore time being idiotic.
6. I should stop staring at that pool of lamplight.
7. What depresses me is the thought the the possibility of love can exist and that I haven't figured it out yet, or that I choose to ignore it - what you don't know can't hurt you.
8. All my stilted bullshit logic gets tossed out the window in the harsh light of hash "reality".
9. My thoughts refuse to slow down and are in danger of overlapping to the point of incomprehensible babble.
10. If I could only be this logical, honest and detached when sober...

With A Smile

Lift your head, baby don't be scared of the things that could go wrong along the way
You'll get by, with a smile, you can't win at everything but you can try...
Baby you don't have to worry, coz there ain't no need to hurry,
no one ever said that there's an easy way
When they're closing all their doors, they don't want you anymore
It sounds funny but I'll say it anyway...

Sorry...really overused, but I just needed to type that out.
Eraserheads songs...my current panacea for life's curveballs....